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Hopefully the last Covid-19 jokes prior to us really getting out and about.

  • Why did the chicken cross the road?  Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly.
  • Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”
  • Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.
  • My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.
  • My mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now, ma! I’m saving the world!
  • If I keep stress-eating at this level, the buttons on my shirt will start socially distancing from each other.
  • The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
  • Nothing like relaxing on the couch after a long day of being tense on the couch.
  • I finished Netflix today.
  •  Knock knock. Who is there? Seriously, don’t touch my door and get back 6 meters to social distance.
  • Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

 

Brings back great memories when we able to travel to places like New York